Life isn’t what I would call a “one and done”. I joke about that phrase when I reference having children, that I was one and done. I use that same reference when I speak of tattoos for myself, I’m a one and done. But the rest of life…well it can be messy, can’t it?
It sometimes feels like we only have so many opportunities to be with people and in different types of relationships. Friends come and go, but the genuine ones I call “true blue” can pick up the phone a year since you last spoke and it’s as if the space between them never existed. The reality is, we have a lot of different opportunities in our lifetime to make and nurture relationships. We sometimes fail. Sometimes it’s our fault, sometimes it’s not. But every day we have a choice to get back up, pull up our boot straps as it were, and keep moving onward and upwards.
I have many former friends I have let go of over the years. Sometimes they let go of me! It’s up to every one of us to decide which relationships are worth holding on to, and which are better just left to go by the wayside. Most I am content with. Others there are various measures of regret.
The same has been true of familial, work, and romantic relationships. I’ve written extensively about this in family dynamics, but the same is true for work situations. Sometimes it’s better to just put a job in the rear view mirror and move forward. If a job is making you miserable and unhappy consistently, it’s time to figure out your next move. I have never regretted a single job decision I have made because I have always come back better and stronger than before.
I’m not the same woman I was 30 years ago. My views on what matters and what doesn’t has changed. Since my divorce over 20 years ago, men have come and gone. Sometimes it was my decision, sometimes theirs. Some I regretted, some I don’t. Sometimes the most hurtful thing to do in romantic relationships is to let go of someone you care about, and I have done this recently, but you also know that the relationship is harmful to your well-being and you are better left to lick wounds and move on. Sometimes they are genuinely bad people, but more often than not it is grown people making choices and decisions about what works best for them or what they THINK works best for them. And let’s face it, what works for you might not work for me and vice versa.
Relationships should be a positive thing. Family, friends, and lovers should enhance your life not make you miserable. I made up my mind a long time ago that if something made me completely miserable, no matter how hard I tried to make it good, then I would leave it behind. A few have circled back around years later and I’ve been able to re-establish the relationships. Sometimes it changes the relationship, and sometimes it’s a “geez if I had known then what I know now” situation where I definitely would do things differently given the opportunity.
The biggest take-away for me on all of these things has been to live with your decisions, correct them when you can, and keep moving forward in life. If things are meant to be they will be.
Life isn’t one and done. We rise, we fall, we get back up. We love, we lose, and we love again if we allow our hearts to do so. I don’t always know where things go wrong, but usually I can see my own failures in it. The best I can do is open my heart, open my mind, and let the universe know I’m here to give and receive love.
Hey universe. I’m right here. I fell down. I’m back up. Come and get me.